1001 Doors, The Book, Page 1

On page one there is a statement  that reads as follows:

"To some extent, the birth of fear is repeated for each of us during childhood. At first
physical pain is its own teacher and we learn to avoid it, but at a certain point in our
learning history, our minds become infected. The fear of consequences over-rides
our desire for positive reinforcement and we do what we do to avoid being unsafe,
or insecure, or have something bad happen to us. In that scenario there is no reward
envisioned, only less likelihood of punishment."

Most people I have spoken with don't really uinderstand the distinction being made here. As children do we learn to clean our room in order to avoid punishment, or because it is naturally more pleasant to live in a clean room? Do we learn to cook otherwise we will go hungry, or because cooking can be fun? Are we polite and helpful towards others in order not to be chastised, or because it feels good to be appreciated? Do we avoid junk food because it is bad for us or because we feel better when we eat well? Do we drive defensively in order to avoid crashes and speeding tickets or because it generates a feeling of safety, or makes driving more pleasant and relaxing?

In other words, learning to be positively self reinforcing is important.  For instance, most people see failure as negative and have learned to avoid it. As a result, how many people end up abandoning things they want to do because of their fear of failure. How many people have had their inspiration destroyed because of that?

Consider the following scenario. I used to think it was an outdated sort of experience until I met a young woman of 25-years-old. She was afraid to go home because she had dropped out of Architectual college in order to pursue her art. Her parents' sole preoccupation was her finding a well-paying job because of the consequences of not finding a well paying job. She was surviving by working at a cafe and living at an artist's collective. That was what she wanted to do. But her own passion and positive attitude was inhibited by her fear of what was going to happen if she didn't do something more traditional.

I suggested that she think about this time period in her life as a chance to foster her creativity and find her inner artist which could certainly be applied in a more formal way later if she chooses...and convince her parents of the importance of this.

To succeed at anything you have to have a passion for it. Your heart has to be into it. That passion can be beaten out of us by too much preoccupation with doing something because of the fear of what will happen if we don't. Fear can even make us averse to what we really want to do and move us away from where our passion really does lie. That's how a person's destiny can be derailed.

The aforementioned young woman would probably make a great architect. She might also have been destined to become a great artist. Or be blessed to enjoy both. Right now, because of all that inner conflict caused by the fear of consequences, she was having difficulty being passionate about anything.

Her mind had been infected. I advocate learning how to avoid being infected, and figuring out how to insure our children are not infected, and can find their way safely, wisely and in their own way. And as adults, purging the fear of consequences in favour of using our creativity to find the benifit in everything we need, want, choose or are called to do.